Writing has become like breathing for me. I have to write. HAVE to, but it’s also the hardest thing I have ever done.
Just under two years ago a few friends, personal and online, encouraged me to write. I was a big reader and I honestly thought they were completely and totally out of their minds.
I started with poetry mostly, which was an accident and finally, last year I graduated into writing short stories. The poems came as a result of a falling out with a friend. I didn’t plan to write in a poetic way, but that’s what bloomed from those first things that I wrote out. I am glad to say that the friend I mentioned, a brilliant writer, is still a friend. A very close one, in fact. I remember her telling me, when I admitted to her I had written those first posts because of our falling out, that she was honored and sad at the same time. I look back on it now and I’m glad it all happened, because it got me started.
So, why is it the hardest thing I’ve ever done? Well, I could probably list off a million reasons why, all of which make no difference in the grand scheme of things. I think what makes it so hard is, I want so badly to be better. I certainly don’t expect to be perfect, that’s not attainable, but I want to be good, great even. I want to grow and learn. I’m not afraid of feedback or criticism from fellow writers. I prefer you to tell me what I am doing wrong and then also offer suggestions on how to do it better. There are times however when I sit back and think to myself: what the hell am I doing? Can I even write? Am I a really a writer?
I’ve told many people that if they write, no matter what it is, they are a writer. I had someone tell me this exact thing almost two years ago. “You are a writer,” they said. I don’t know if I believed them because I couldn’t imagine how it was possible that I could be a writer. Now for the most part, I know and believe I am a writer and then, just last week that old feeling crept up on me again. Am I a writer?
What makes writing so hard? I do.
Here’s the thing, I am the one that decides what I am. I am the one that has to do the footwork and write the story. I am the one that has to reach out and ask for guidance and help. I am the one that has to put the tools and suggestions I am given into practice.
I’m lucky. Twitter has allowed me to meet and become friends with some incredible writers. These writers offer their experience freely and I try to soak it all up and learn. I also try to offer others what I have learned.
I want to be a great writer. Someday, I will be.
Love to you all.