The Facts: @Boobiewed vs @Boobiewednesday

Lovelies, please read the post that I wrote for the @Boobiewed team on Twitter.

http://boobiewednesday.org/2011/09/the-facts-about-the-twitter-hype-of-boobiewednesday-vs-boobiewed/

Leave your comments and please RT or Share the post on Facebook.

Thanks,

WookiesGirl

Writing is… The hardest thing I’ve ever done.

I was tagged by Carrie Clevenger for this meme “Writing is…”

Writing has become like breathing for me. I have to write. HAVE to, but it’s also the hardest thing I have ever done.

Just under two years ago a few friends, personal and online, encouraged me to write. I was a big reader and I honestly thought they were completely and totally out of their minds.

I started with poetry mostly, which was an accident and finally, last year I graduated into writing short stories. The poems came as a result of a falling out with a friend. I didn’t plan to write in a poetic way, but that’s what bloomed from those first things that I wrote out. I am glad to say that the friend I mentioned, a brilliant writer, is still a friend. A very close one, in fact. I remember her telling me, when I admitted to her I had written those first posts because of our falling out, that she was honored and sad at the same time. I look back on it now and I’m glad it all happened, because it got me started.

So, why is it the hardest thing I’ve ever done? Well, I could probably list off a million reasons why, all of which make no difference in the grand scheme of things. I think what makes it so hard is, I want so badly to be better. I certainly don’t expect to be perfect, that’s not attainable, but I want to be good, great even. I want to grow and learn. I’m not afraid of feedback or criticism from fellow writers. I prefer you to tell me what I am doing wrong and then also offer suggestions on how to do it better. There are times however when I sit back and think to myself: what the hell am I doing? Can I even write? Am I a really a writer?

I’ve told many people that if they write, no matter what it is, they are a writer. I had someone tell me this exact thing almost two years ago. “You are a writer,” they said. I don’t know if I believed them because I couldn’t imagine how it was possible that I could be a writer. Now for the most part, I know and believe I am a writer and then, just last week that old feeling crept up on me again. Am I a writer?

What makes writing so hard? I do.

Here’s the thing, I am the one that decides what I am. I am the one that has to do the footwork and write the story. I am the one that has to reach out and ask for guidance and help. I am the one that has to put the tools and suggestions I am given into practice.

I’m lucky. Twitter has allowed me to meet and become friends with some incredible writers. These writers offer their experience freely and I try to soak it all up and learn. I also try to offer others what I have learned.

I want to be a great writer. Someday, I will be.



Love to you all.
WookiesGirl

I tag:

Nancy McGregor

WookieStyle

Megan Hart

Melissa Ecker

Shawna Thomas

I have boobs and I'm not afraid to use them!

Lovelies,

I posted a guest blog for the @boobiewed Twitter team. Please check it out.

http://boobiewednesday.org/2011/05/i-have-boobs-and-i%E2%80%99m-not-afraid-to-use-them/

Or you can read it here too!

Lovelies, I have some serious stuff to talk to you about.

*drags soap box over and steps up*

I have boobs and I’m not afraid to use them!

If you play on Twitter, then you may be aware of #boobiewednesday or #boobiewed. If you aren’t, then I’m happy to explain it.

Every Wednesday, women and men all over the world put up various avatars displaying either bare chests or cleavage. Some are actual pictures of the Twitter user, some are pictures of models they find attractive. Whichever picture they choose, its purpose is to capture your attention. The question is asked: What is #boobiewednesday? And that is when the awareness begins.

I have been putting up an avatar of my cleavage for almost two years now. I do this every week to assist the @boobiewed team in bringing awareness to the Twitter community. The whole purpose of Boobie Wednesday is to remind women and men to do their monthly self-breast exams and to have a yearly mammogram. In addition, they also invite cancer survivors, family members, and supporters to send in their stories to be posted on the site. It’s another wonderful way to help educate people.

It takes a lot of courage to post a picture of your cleavage or bare chest for hundreds, possibly thousands, to see. Some are fake breasts, some are real breasts. Some are the reconstructed breasts of cancer survivors who have had mastectomies. I commend the men and women who do this weekly. I am very proud of my breasts and I am happy to display my cleavage if it helps bring awareness.

However, not everyone approves of how Twitter users support #BoobieWed. And, ya know, that’s okay. There are, of course, people who put up avatars just to get attention for themselves, and that’s okay, too. What someone chooses to show publicly or on Twitter is their business. To each his or her own.

Here is what you need to know: The BoobieWed crew has never asked, nor required, their supporters to show their cleavage or bare chests. The one thing they have asked them to do is to use one of these hashtags: #boobiewed or #boobiewednesday. That’s it. It’s that simple.

Last week some things happened on Twitter that deeply disturbed me. When I signed on, I noticed that two of my Twitter friends and me were being harassed because of our cleavage avatars. A women that none of us knew approached all three of us at once and began shaking her electronic finger at us. She accused us of degrading and objectifying women because we chose to put up avatars displaying our cleavage. She said we had no self-respect, no standards, and that we were oppressing women everywhere. She called me a hussie, a twit, and a slut. And she has, of course, deleted those tweets. But here’s the thing: she did all of this in the name of “feminism.” She accused me of being a feminist who did nothing but support the status quo. She brought up issues of salary and the differences between men and women and then said that I shouldn’t complain about these things if I was just going to show my “tits” all over Twitter and objectify and oppress women everywhere. She also attacked the @boobiewed Twitter account.

Now, let me just say that when someone comes at me like this, I feed them to my tweet stream. So that is exactly what I did. And my followers ate her alive. I sat and watched the stream erupt and the fight went on for about three hours. This woman made a lot of people angry. Men and women. People were on fire over this, and I really can’t blame them.

My point in telling you this story is not to lambaste this woman again. My point is that a very important movement got twisted into something so wrong and ugly it made me take pause and wonder why. All in the name of feminism? Really? This is not the first time Boobiewed has taken hits from so-called feminists, but I have never seen it this bad before.

I have never claimed to be a feminist. I do however, claim that as a woman, as a citizen of the United States, and a Twitter user, have the right to show my cleavage if I choose to do so. And you have the right to not look and to not follow me on Twitter. You also have the right to disagree with my choice. But the minute you start being nasty and insulting, you’ve lost all credibility. If exercising my rights as a woman to show my body upsets you that much, then that is truly your problem. Telling me I’m wrong and shaking your finger at me and then telling me what I should or should not do seems an awful lot like telling me to get in the back of the bus or that I should hide my body because it’s shameful or that I don’t have a right to own my body. How, then, can you be a feminist claiming you support equal rights? Isn’t that the same thing as oppressing me?

Boobiewed is a wonderful cause. Every day, the team sends out information that helps educate the masses. It’s another way to support breast cancer awareness. The people that support it do so in the manner that they are comfortable with. I’ll tell you something else. Every week I get the typical “Hey nice avi” tweet from a man, I say, “Thank you.” Then I tell him why my cleavage is on display. I also ask him, “Did you know men get breast cancer too?” At least once a week, someone answers me back with, “I did not know that.” So please, do not tell me that this does not raise awareness. That it doesn’t serve as a reminder. Because I know it does. Women on Twitter tell me every week that if it was not for #boobiewed, they would forget to do their self-checks. This is good stuff, people, and I will continue to support the team for as long as I stay on Twitter.

Thank you to the @boobiewed team for what they do week after week. It’s not always easy when you have to deal with some of the negative backlash that comes when you stand on the front lines. I vow to stand with you always, though. And to the woman who went on a rampage last week: You’re in my prayers. It’s very clear to me that whatever you struggle with truly has nothing to do with my avatar or anyone else’s. Whatever it is, I hope you find peace with it.

*steps off soap box*

Much love to you all.
Wookies Girl

An Intimate View of Crooked Fang

Did you hear? Well, did you?

Let me tell you, in case you didn’t. Xan, also known as @CrookedFang, from Twitter, is about to be published! Yes, his very first novel is due out in August of 2012. Not too far off if you think of it.

His writer, Carrie Clevenger, is a brilliant woman. She hatched a plan not too long ago and it’s all coming to fruition. Xan is finally getting his story, and I’ll just say this: he’s not your typical vampire. No, Xan is quite different. In fact, the reason Carrie and I became friends is a direct result of Xan and how atypical he is. Today, Carrie is one of my closest friends. I’m proud to know her.

How is Xan different? For one thing, he’s not interested in typical vampy things. He’s not off hunting in the night, feeding off society, or seducing strong willed heroines. He’s a bassist and he’s got a band. He’d really be quite happy just hanging out, plucking on his bass guitar and sipping on a bottle of Jack. Toss in a cute chica, and he’s all set.

In fact… Xan is so normal, you tend to forget he’s a Vampire. Anyone that has read Xan’s blog or hung out on Twitter with him knows this. I know it on a deeper level.

For over two years now, Xan and I have been friends. Now, before you roll your eyes at me or start to form opinions on my state of mind, let me explain it to you. I mentioned Xan in my last blog post that covered writing, fictional characters, and Twitter. I talked about what he was like when I first got to know him. He’s very different now than he was then. Before, he was quiet and reserved. And although he responded differently to me than he had to others, he also didn’t quite know what to make of me. To be honest, neither did Carrie. At one time she had dubbed me “The Vampire Den Mother.” I have to say, it was very exciting, talking to a ”real live” fictional Vampire. Come on, wouldn’t you be excited?

Never mind the fact that Xan is just cooler-than-cool and hotter-than-hot!

A lot has changed for Xan in the past three years. He’s evolved, and with that, his story is nothing like what was originally planned for him. If you had told Carrie three years ago that this is where Xan would be and this is what would be happening, she would have said you were nuts. Xan is alive and strong in her mind, and as a result of that, he’s gotten his way. What is it that has made Xan capture my heart and imagination? I suppose it’s how real and true his heart is. He’s a genuinely nice guy. Although he’s struggled at times with balancing his Vampire nature with his human side, his integrity wins out, time and again.

Xan is a regular guy with a not-so-regular personality. He represents the bad boy we all love to chase, as well as the heart-felt romantic we’ve always wished for. He’s low maintenance and cannot stand to be nagged by a woman. Still a typical male in every way, but way cooler. How can you not fall in love? It’s damn hard to resist his humor, his charm and his inherent sweetness. I know I can’t, and I’d never want to even try.

Like I mentioned above, give Xan a bottle of Jack, his bass guitar, and let’s not forget a cigarette, too. He’s content to just hang in the bar area of Pale Rider, where he lives and plays with his band.

Close your eyes for me. Can you picture him? He’s leaning against one of the back walls in the shadows of the bar. He’s six feet, five inches tall, and lean, though not too lean. Long black hair, grey eyes, and yeah, fangs, though he won’t flash them all that often…Fangs! (Just sayin’, folks.)

Perfectly at ease with his electric blue bass, “Sasha,” at his side, the faint glow of his cigarette barely illuminates his face with each pull he takes.

This is where I find him tonight. Xan and I talk quite often, he’s expecting me tonight and knows that I have some questions for him. I’ve decided I’d share our conversation with you.

*************

WookiesGirl: *Enters in the back door of Pale Rider.* Hey there.

Xan : Ha, you found the place.

WookiesGirl: Of course. I think I need a hug or something…

Xan: Something huh?

WookiesGirl: Haha. Yes, of course.

Xan: C'mere girl.

WookiesGirl: *tackles you with a hug*

Xan: How you been? Heard you're all wanting to ask me questions. Mm you smell nice too.

WookiesGirl: Thanks. Yes, I do have questions. I had a crazy idea and your writer agreed. So, here we are. Plus it’s a chance to gush in print about how wonderful I think you are.

Xan: Cool, well I'm all yours baby.

WookiesGirl: Yes. This, I do know. Table?

Xan: Sure. I got a whiskey shot set-up at my usual table. Feeling strong?

WookiesGirl: Always… Either that or I'll get all glossy eyed and the interview will be forgotten in favor of other activities...*wink*

Xan: Hmm. Alright then. Works both ways for me!

WookiesGirl: Hehe... Me too. Alright so. I've got some questions and we'll just go one at a time if that’s cool. Yes?

Xan: Yeah I think I'm ready. Just let me know when you're recording. I'll clear my throat with some booze.

WookiesGirl: Take a sip now... I'll take notes as we go.

Xan: You look good tonight.

WookiesGirl: Aw…You think? Thanks sweetie.

Xan: Yeah you always do, even in those cute feetie PJs you do. Ha.

WookiesGirl: Haha... and... You always look good, in my opinion. Got me all smiley now.

Xan: Thanks, I just get dressed.

WookiesGirl: Ha. Okay, let's do this so we can have some you and me off the record time.

Xan: Rock 'n' roll.

WookiesGirl: Okay so... the book. Do you end up being in the spotlight with the band? How do you feel about that?

Xan: I think Charlie needs to up my whiskey rationing. I hate the spotlight. All those people looking at me. It's intimidating as fuck.

WookiesGirl: The whiskey helps I am sure. You prefer being in the background then?

Xan: I'm not really leadership material. I do best when given a job and am left alone to take care of it. In the band, I handle a lot of the business, including any external bookings because we have to be careful where we play. I like bass. It's a nice easy job, and I still get to do what I love to do, and that's play music.

WookiesGirl: In a way having your story written, puts you directly in the spotlight.

Xan: The book is from my point of view, sure. But I'd say the other people in it really make the story. I just kind of get myself in trouble a lot.

WookiesGirl: Haha. Yes, that you do, Xan. If Charlie won't up your whiskey rationing then I'll just have to bring you some, too. So, you said you handle the bookings? It makes me wonder how you balance being a vampire and yet having to be in the public eye with the band.

Xan: Oooh, that's a hard call. I generally play it off as fake, or a gimmick. Since my band is called Crooked Fang, it works well enough. My friends think I'm just some slacker that hates daylight and parties all night. Man, if they only knew the truth huh?

WookiesGirl: No kidding.

Xan: I still do stuff during the day, just stay in the shade.

WookiesGirl: Yes.. You and I figured that out a while ago. Rainy days work really well.

Xan: Still risky because the sun can peek out at really inopportune times. Heh.

WookiesGirl: Good thing my back porch provides ample coverage. Hey, ya know what’s funny? These questions I am asking you. I already know what your answers for many of them will be, but your fans don't so I figure, it’s cool to share with them the parts of you I get to see.

Xan: Fans? I don't have fans. I have people that are bored enough to read my shit.

WookiesGirl: Oh honey.. You have fans. Trust me.

Xan: ...I'll take your word for it.

WookiesGirl: Pfft.. Everyone loves you Xan. In fact, @divine_pk told me last night that she officially LOVES you.

Xan: Loves me? We haven't even gone on a second date!

WookiesGirl: There was a first date? Somethin’ you need to tell me?

Xan: ...No. [Shifts eyes]

WookiesGirl: Mmhmm… I see. Ahem… Okay, take another drink because you may not like this next question. Tell me about your sire please?

Xan: Hmm. She was a bitch? I mean when you see a hot girl at a bar and you hang out, only to wake up dead, that kind of fucks with you. To make matters worse, she was a little screwy in the brains. Turns out she's a Roman vampire, but she wanted all the other Roman vampires to be purebred, whatever the fuck that means. She exterminated all the ones she didn't make over the course of a few hundred years, or that's what she told me. [Shrugs] I just thought her ass looked good in red leather.

WookiesGirl: Haha. Fair enough. Do you ever see her now?

Xan: No. I got fed up with her six years ago and left. Surprisingly, she let me go. I don't know where she is anymore. She isn't at the old place. Maybe she just finally self-destructed.

WookiesGirl: Probably for the best I think.

Xan: Yeah, it is. She's a psycho in her finer form.

WookiesGirl: From what I remember knowing about her, I would totally agree with that assessment. So who is Jack?

Xan: Jack Pearson?

WookiesGirl: Yes.

Xan: Jack, or Jackie-boy, as I like to call him is head of the Nesferata vampires. He runs a black-market operation he calls the Core. I have no idea what kind of fruit it was before it rotted. [laughs] He's big tattooed-and-pierced motherfucker with a Creole accent and a penchant for treating women like property.

WookiesGirl: Sounds like some bikers I know. Ha!

Xan: From what I heard, he comes from the jungles where they do a ritual hunt to create new Nesferata, on religious grounds, of course. It's a weird system, but they get away with it. They are the only kind permitted to steal vampire blood.

WookiesGirl: WOW. So they are vampires too? But not the same as you, you said Nesferata? What does that mean?

Xan: Nesferata are sort of vampires, but they're still alive. So they're different. Technically they are dead and yet very much alive. It’s an interesting twist I suppose.

WookiesGirl: Interesting. Maybe we can explore that further another time.

Xan: Yeah. Best I can describe is I'm something else. Not alive, not dead, just something else.

WookiesGirl: I suppose it depends on who you ask. You're special. That's how I see you anyway. Always have.

Xan: [smirk] Thanks babe.

WookiesGirl: You know I love ya. So, tell me about Nin?

Xan: Nin...in this book I meet a woman that has it out for me. I won't go into specifics, but I will say that I didn't know there were Nesferata women. Jack's disrespect for the females won't allow it, but then again, she exists, so there's that. She comes in and helps me out a little I guess. Depends on what your definition of 'help' is. [laughs]

WookiesGirl: Haha. Helps you out? Hmm, but if she is Nesferata, based on what I know of you, you don't much like them. What makes her different?

Xan: She has a nice rack?

WookiesGirl: Hahaha! So do I but that's beside the point.. *wink*

Xan: No seriously. I end up meeting her fist-first. From her angle [rubs jaw] Ow.

WookiesGirl: Ah yes. Yet you go back for more. Why is that? Notice I'm not letting you off the hook on this one.

Xan: We're looking for the same thing and she keeps getting in my goddamned way.

WookiesGirl: Damn women!

Xan: You said it, not me. [Winks]

WookiesGirl: Well, I set myself apart I suppose. I think I'm the only female/human you tolerate for longer than 5 minutes.

Xan: You and Sasha, yeah.

WookiesGirl: I'll take that. Alright so, let’s see. Ah, yes. How do you manage feeding? I mean you've got a lot of groupies; do you just take your pick?

Xan: The care and feeding of a vampire? …I mean yes. I just borrow a little from here and there. Sometimes I vamp out unexpectedly and take more. Twenty seconds is bad for drinking. I usually do about ten-to-twelve.

WookiesGirl: Ha… Well, I mean, I know what you are and I'm always willing to supply, but most people don't know. How do you handle that?

Xan: If I'm bad and in public I'll take somebody in the bathroom. Nin makes fun of me for doing this in the story, but hey, it works.

WookiesGirl: You can't exactly start sucking on necks in the open. Although, I suppose in a dark bar it might just look like a hot and heavy session in a corner.

Xan: Sometimes yeah. Or I'll take from a hallway commitment. That's what I call the girls I like, but not quite crazy enough to take them upstairs to my room. But most vampires have a passive ability to stick victims in a trance. I think it’s called thrall.

WookiesGirl: Can you do that?

Xan: Yeah. It just comes naturally. It's not really something I can turn off.

WookiesGirl: Hmm… I don't think it's…Well… Have you used that on me? I'm gonna say no. Yeah, never mind, don’t answer that. I don’t think I want to know. Heh.

Xan: [smiles]

WookiesGirl: Why don’t you take them up to your room?

Xan: Hmm, why don't you take every man to your house? I mean it's like that. I really need to be into you (no pun intended) to trust you around my things, you know?

WookiesGirl: Yeah I get that. Sometimes it’s just a need and sometimes it’s a NEED and then some…

Xan: It's complicated.

WookiesGirl: Most things are.

Xan: I hate complications.

WookiesGirl: *shrug* Part of life.

Xan: I like it nice and easy. I mean, I'm easy. It's all easy. It can be easy, just people are full of drama sometimes. I don't want to invite that into my life more than necessary.

WookiesGirl: I agree. Sometimes shit’s unavoidable though.

Xan: [laughs] Tell me about it, especially in my life. I'm a shit's unavoidable-magnet.

WookiesGirl: Me too! Okay, so you said drinking for 20 seconds is bad. What happens? I mean obviously you can take a life right? Has that happened to you?

Xan: What do you think?

WookiesGirl: I think maybe, yes.

Xan: I used to do more than that though. Gained a slight reputation as somebody those little unwanted bastard vampires should look out for. Those I took out in droves. My sire was all about the nobility of our kind. It still gets me jobs, but I'm mostly retired from the extermination business.

WookiesGirl: Ah yes. I have to say I'm relieved that you're not as involved in that anymore.

Xan: I didn't like what I was turning into.

WookiesGirl: It hardened you.

Xan: A lot. I don't have much respect for my kind these days, probably partly because of that. But I've seen the living do some fucked-up shit too that makes me look downright cuddly at my worst moments.

WookiesGirl: Heh. Yeah, that is for damn sure. If I had to pick between some of the people I've crossed paths with? I'd choose you. Hands down. Every time. Good and bad exist in any race... or species, I suppose.

Xan: Definitely. But I'm not exactly friendly either. I don't really like socializing much. I have to because of my band, but I'm still a private person. If you came into Pale Rider I wouldn't really look very approachable. I mean if I didn't know you already.

WookiesGirl: Right, of course, unless they are like me. I'll approach anyone, for the most part, as you well know.

Xan: You're probably the most extroverted person I know aside from Serv.

WookiesGirl: You say that like it’s a bad thing.

Xan: I was meant to meet you. We'll leave it at that.

WookiesGirl: Agreed. We're almost done… just a few more questions. Tell me what you fear?

Xan: I guess I fear a few things. There's little things like spiders. I hate spiders. Then, there's big things like, worry for the future. I fear change, and I know eventually it'll come in a major way.

WookiesGirl: I think we all fear change, to one degree or another. Life is just life. Wonderful and scary, and a pain in the ass. Oh, and I hate spiders too.

Xan: Hairy little eight-legged bastards. Ick.

WookiesGirl: Yes GROSS. What about the future worries you?

Xan: Shit, the future in general. I'm not going to die anytime soon. Everything is just going on without me and here I am stuck in time, just like I was in 1985. My best friend Scott is fifty-one. He used to be younger than me. I think you can see where I'm going with this. It's not me, it's the rest of the world. I'm just in a fucking vacuum.

WookiesGirl: Yes, I understand. I don't like to look at it too closely though, so let’s move on from that subject. What about dreams, Xan? What are your dreams?

Xan: The difference for you is you're changing right along with the rest of the world.

WookiesGirl: Yes and sometimes I think I'd rather not. But that’s a different discussion all together. *smile*

Xan: Dreams? You mean future aspirations, or like when I sleep?

WookiesGirl: Future aspirations, and sleeping ones too, I suppose.

Xan: I don't dream often. When I do, they aren't good ones. Being reminded of life before this is painful. As far as future aspirations...here is where I'm happy, but I'll have to move on before long. I look like I'm twenty-seven, and ten years from now I'll look the same. People start questioning that eventually. I'll have to pull up roots and move someplace else and start over to live another life for a little while again, then move on. Rinse and repeat.

WookiesGirl: Hmm. I think that sucks. It's part of it all though, the life you live now.

Xan: Part of the fun of being immortal.

WookiesGirl: I'll have to get a bigger house. You can just come and live with me.

Xan: Probably would be safer.

WookiesGirl: Yep. I'd protect you. Fuck everyone else. Haha. Okay, let’s talk about Twitter.

Xan: Alright.

WookiesGirl: You've got quite the following. Everyone loves you. How do you feel about all of that?

Xan: Twitter is one of the coolest things out there. It's a soapbox, a megaphone, or a great big chat-room. Admittedly, I enjoy getting to know people on it.

WookiesGirl: It’s a playground.

Xan: Yeah, there you go. It's a hotbed of links, passive aggressive vague statements, jokes, feelings, and well when you follow enough people, it must be kind of what being God must feel like, just kicking back and reading all of these random thoughts, hopes and dreams as they flow by.

WookiesGirl: Don't forget the drama. And personally, I'm very glad you landed on twitter, else we'd not have met.

Xan: And the drama. It has caused a great deal of headaches during the time I've been on there.

WookiesGirl: For both of us.

Xan: Figuratively of course. I don't get headaches anymore. And yeah I met you on there, so it's been worth it.

WookiesGirl: Aw. Yes, totally worth it. Okay, last few questions. Let's talk about music for a minute. Crooked Fang being a cover band, what sort of songs are your favorites to play?

Xan: We play a variety of shit really. Sometimes we'll take requests. Serv has a range like I've never heard before and he knows about a zillion songs.

WookiesGirl: But, what are your favorites?

Xan: My favorites? As in what I like to play or my favorites in general?

WookiesGirl: Both I guess. You guys must play some that you love because they are your favorites in general.

Xan: Well yes and no. I'm into shit like Danzig, Type O Negative, Concrete Blonde and stuff. Serv likes to sing Def Leopard, Poison, Chevelle and other rock-type stuff.

WookiesGirl: Ahh. Does the band ever play the stuff you love?

Xan: Yeah, but I have to sing usually so I don't push the issue. I like all kinds of music, and we've done a full range from 50s doo-wop to Green Day.

WookiesGirl: Okay, and by the way, I love your singing. Okay, last question. You've got this new music thing going on. Sort of like a soundtrack for your books. Tell me about that?

Xan: Yeah, it's something Carrie Clevenger always wanted and somehow managed to get going. What can I say? It's music. I love music, so it works well I think.

WookiesGirl: I agree. I personally, am very excited. It’s good right, this new way to have your fans/readers hear you? They get to know you more. Like a little bonus piece of Crooked Fang to add to the world we live in.

WookiesGirl: She's a pretty smart lady. The guy she is working with is pretty creative and I see so many good things coming as a result of the collaboration. I see good things for you too.

Xan: It's been a lot of fun so far.

WookiesGirl: Well hell, if you can't have fun, what's the damn point then, right? So that’s it. The interview is over. We can now be officially off the record. You have anything else to say before I put my pen down?

Xan: I just want to thank everybody that's read, tweeted about, posted on Facebook about, or blogged about Crooked Fang. None of this would have been possible without them. I hope to live up to their expectations. Seriously people, thanks. I'm at a loss to tell you how much your emails and comments and friendship means to me.

WookiesGirl: Wonderful. Simply wonderful! Oh wait.. Damn, I do have one more question.

Xan: Alright.

WookiesGirl: Um... what do you think about my sparkly tank top? Haha.

Xan: [Laughs] VERY eye-catching. I found myself distracted. [Grin]

WookiesGirl: Hmm... Were you now? I do like being a distraction.

Xan: At least you're the one that sparkles. [Laughs]

WookiesGirl: Oh that’s for damn sure! Plus, you can bite me without killing me… sort of… Erm… you know what I mean.

*************

I stayed with Xan for a little while longer. Chatting and laughing as we usually do. Then, of course, I had to leave. I needed to get back to reality. Just so you know, this is Carrie Clevenger and me, kicking down the fourth wall; obliterating it, actually. What you’ve just read is fantasy. The fourth wall is what separates fantasy from reality in movies, books, etc. We love doing away with that pesky wall and inviting you into this amazing, creative world.

I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I loved writing it.

Look for more things from my friend, Xan, coming soon. And please check out his Facebook page.

He's got a collaboration piece written with Nerine Dorman called "Just my Blood Type." It's a free download via a link on GoodReads. You can get it here: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11810756-just-my-blood-type

Look for another collaboration piece between Carrie and Nerine, featuring Xan, coming soon.

Take care, lovelies.

Wookies Girl.

Twitter, Writing and Characters

Hello my darlings. It’s been a little while since I’ve posted anything for you on this blog. I wonder, did you miss me?

Today I want to write about three things. Twitter, Writing and Characters. Not sure what they have in common? Be patient and I’ll show you.

Let’s start with Twitter and Writing.

Twitter is my playground. It’s the place I go to blow off steam. The place I go to laugh with friends and be me. Yes, me. What you see on my Twitter is pretty damn close to the me in real life. I’ve got a list of Twitter people I’ve met in real life. Feel free to ask those people if they agree. They will, I’ve no doubt.

It’s been just over two years since I was introduced to Twitter and since then I’ve met and made the most amazing friends. Some of them, I am sad to say, I no longer talk with, but it always seems that there is someone new waiting just around the corner to meet and get to know. Lately, I’ve been getting to know some pretty awesome writers on Twitter. Some of them are published, some not. My friends are a mixed bag, I think, and it’s also a great place for me to play and learn in the writing community. I started writing because of the people I met on Twitter. I don’t think that would have happened otherwise. I’m grateful for that. Some of the amazing writers that have helped me along the way are: @texistential, @writermomof5 and @CrystalPosey.

I want to give a great big Thank You to these three ladies! I love you all dearly and you will always hold a special place in my heart.

There have been several more women and men since then that have helped me and encouraged me, but these three are at the top of the list. They told me I had a voice and encouraged me to keep working on it. I’ll also go as far as to mention three very specific people who I no longer speak to. If you happen to be reading this, you know who you are; all three of you were also very instrumental in encouraging me to write and helped me find my voice, so thank you.

Now, let’s talk about Characters.

I’m not talking about people, well sort of. I’m talking about characters from stories. Before I was writing, and only reading, I came across J.R. Ward and her Black Dagger Brotherhood series. I was, and am, so caught up in this book series and the characters in it, it’s amazing. Anyone that has read and loves this series would agree with me. Hands down, her characters are so developed, its unreal how real they become in your head. She also has an online forum you can sign up for and she’s put the brothers up on there to interact with her fans. I’m signed up on the forum, of course, and although most people love that environment to chat in, I find it a little hard to really interact with people.

Then, along came Twitter.

First, I’ll back up just a bit. This was all before Twitter and I became friends.

See, I had read an interview with J.R. Ward where she talked about her characters, the brothers, being alive and well in her head and how they literally talk to her. I was both shocked and intrigued. I’d never talked to a writer before and I had recently become acquainted with one, so I asked her. She explained, “Yes, characters are alive in writers’ heads and at times they won’t shut up.” I found this awesome! My definition to her at the time and one I still use today is: it’s kind of like Schizophrenia with an outlet, minus all the harmful shit that goes along with that illness. Seriously, can you imagine? I couldn’t then, but I certainly can now. All these voices in your head talking, pretty much constantly, and the only way to quiet them is to write. Write every damn word they’re telling you. How exciting! I think so, anyway. If you’re a writer you would agree, I’m sure.

So, back to Twitter. The writer I mentioned introduced me to Twitter and she informed me there were some writers that had their characters on Twitter too. She had some of her own characters on there as well, which I thought was pretty cool because I had read some of her stories.

Let me clarify this for you a bit. These ‘characters’ I’m talking about are not people who have created a fan-fiction account on Twitter for a character that they love in a book, no. (Nothing against those folks, if that’s what you like to do then go for it.) These are the actual writers of these characters. When I arrived on the Twitter scene I immediately started talking to these characters. The vampires especially, because they were and still are my favorite. I talked with my friends’ characters and I started talking to some other characters I’d met. I also followed and got to know the writers for those characters. What a world I fell into. It was fun and extremely exciting.

I mentioned above that Twitter is my playground, but Twitter can also be a playground for your character too. There are lots of ways to do character development and Twitter is one of them. You can put your character up and see how they react when talking to real people or role playing with other characters. You can utilize how your character acts and reacts for your/their story. It puts the character in real situations and helps them grow. My husband has used it for two of his characters that he has stories written about. The main one right now you can follow is @knox_barrett. I have used it as well, though those characters are quietly hiding in the back of my head for now. It’s not time for their story, yet. Soon, I hope.

What I figured out, with all this character play on Twitter I was engaging in, was that I had a knack for character development. Most characters respond to me and I am not sure why that is, nor do I really care. I just know that it’s an awesome thing to help a fellow writer bring a character to life. And, besides that, it’s fun as hell!

I’ll quickly tell you about my favorite. Have you met @CrookedFang? If you haven’t, then you should. He’s written by @texistential, one of the amazing women I listed above. Let me tell you about Xan. (CrookedFang) We’ve been friends for almost two years now. Yes, friends. He’s a character in one of @texistential’s stories and he is fictional, but he’s alive and well on paper and in Carrie’s mind. He’s very strong and developed as well as a ton of fun to tweet with.

Xan was the first character that really responded to me. What I mean by that was he was a whole lot quieter before I hit the scene and started bugging him. And now, quiet and Xan don’t belong in the same sentence together. It surprised both Carrie and I how he responded to me and neither one of us really know why. I’m not sure we need to know why. I just know that he sort of…came alive as we became friends and because of that we continue our little Twitter relationship. I certainly can’t and won’t take all the credit for Xan’s blossoming, because there is of course, his brilliant writer! Without her, he wouldn’t be here, obviously. She’s been writing stories about him for over ten years, but I sure have a part in who he is now. That, my friends, is priceless! Also, it makes @CrystalPosey giggle when we play. That woman is so full of wonderful that I’d do just about anything to make her giggle!

So, I hope that what I’ve written gives you a different view into the mind of a writer and the characters that exist there. If you’re a writer, I hope I helped encourage you to bring your characters to Twitter. I’d love to interact with them.
.
Love to you all.
Wookies Girl

P.S. You can also find CrookedFang on Facebook.

Jacob...A year without him. 12/22/2010

December 22, 2009…
That was the day I got the call from my husband telling me that our cousin Jacob had died. It was the worst day of 2009 for me and ushered me in to a difficult and sometimes painful 2010.

Jacob was my cousin by marriage; I was very close to him. We spent a lot of time together the two years after his brother, Josh had died. They both struggled with heroin addiction. They both died from that same drug.

When I got that horrible call from my husband the world spun around me. I dropped to my knees and all I could say was “NO!” Then the tears came.

After that, I went on auto-pilot. Both my husband and I did. We went about the things you do when someone close to you dies, making the necessary calls, determining arrangements, etc. I went and bought a few Christmas gifts in the middle of all of it that day. Do the next thing in front of you to do, I kept telling myself. I just could not wrap my head around Jacob being gone. He was so full of life. A bright shining light, and he was gone and I couldn’t accept it.
I still can’t.

I have a friend from Alanon who has a sort of connection to the dead, if you will. They visit her, and it’s not consistent, and no, she can’t contact your dead aunt for you. It just happens randomly for her. Now, some of you may think this is odd, or maybe you don’t even believe in this sort of thing, but I do. I’ve had a few experiences, myself, with the dead paying me a visit.
Is it leftover energy or a ghost? Who knows? I won’t try and label it.

About 2 months ago I saw this friend at a meeting and we had a strange conversation. She was crying a lot. We used to talk more than we do now, and she was saying how much she missed me, but she was really emotional. Naturally, I comforted her. The next day, she called me and said, “I know you might think I’m nuts, but someone that’s passed on is trying to contact you through me.” I told her I didn’t think she was nuts and asked her who.

She started telling me that this spirit had been around her for a few days, and all she kept hearing was the word “red.” When she saw me at the meeting, my hair had been freshly colored bright red. She told me that yes, although it was true she had missed me, she just felt like she couldn’t get close enough to me that day. It was as if she wanted to climb inside my skin and find comfort. That morning it clicked for her why she had felt like that.

She said, “I don’t know who it is, but he is big and he has a beard. He’s jolly and he’s happy and he loves you, and he needs you to know that he’s okay. He wants me to tell you that he knows you’re having a hard time and he’s with you.”

All I could say was, “It’s Jacob.” She went on to tell me more. She told me some specific things about his death that I had already suspected. She also told me some other things about him that she wouldn’t have known, couldn’t have known. I cried as she shared what she was hearing from him with me. I cried quietly and I listened. “He doesn’t want you to be angry with him,” she said. “He’s happy now, he’s okay.”

She told me he leaves me signs: pennies or feathers. “Look for feathers,” she said.

I’ll be damned! There had been feathers around. Several times I would walk outside to my back patio and there would be a feather sitting on my chair. We were at the annual Christmas party for my husband’s work, standing outside talking, and there was a huge feather on the ground between the owner’s feet. The owner is also my husband’s cousin, and Jacob’s, as well.
It was surreal seeing that feather just sitting there. I knew that Jacob was there with us, too.

I have a picture of Jacob up on my wall in my office. I stare at it a lot. I know he is with me. In the picture he is smiling. I know he’s free from his suffering, from his disease of drug addiction, but I am selfish. I want him here. I miss him more than I can even begin to express. The pictures I am showing you show the funny side, that “jolly” man that he relayed to my friend. There are also a few where you see the pain that was there, too. I cherish these pictures.

Today marks a year that he’s been gone. I know that I will never be the same after losing Jacob. He touched my life in so many ways. In fact, he touched everyone’s life that he came in contact with. He was a friend to everyone, and if he only had a dollar left in his pocket and you needed it, he would give it to you. My house was full of people the day we had his memorial. We had to move it outside and my whole backyard was full, as well as my patio. It was amazing.

Jacob was loved by so many people. We mourned him together, and we still mourn him.

Much has happened in this last year. Some days, life is just too overwhelming and I want to run and hide. Other days, life is just life and it’s bearable, but it goes on.

I’ll never forget Jacob. I don’t think anyone will.

I’ll end this post just as I ended the one I wrote last year when we lost him. If you want to read, you can find it here.

“These three remain always, Jacob. Faith, hope and love...and yes, the greatest of these is love.”

“You were loved, Jacob! You still are.”

Rest in peace, my light.

I love you and miss you.
M.

Rest in peace my beautiful Rose. My Noni.

Rose Mary S.

Dec 26 1909~Nov 22 2010

I lost my Noni this week.
I want to tell you about her, all the things I remember about her and how much she meant to me.

She was 100% Italian.
She was an amazing cook.
She was a tiny, petite little woman.
She wore high heels, always. (Really high heels)
She never learned to drive.
She carried chicklets in her purse, always.
She loved to go on Sunday drives.
She colored her hair until about 10 yrs ago.
She had short hair as long as I’ve been alive.
She was born in this country.
She had 3 brothers and 1 sister.
She lived through the depression era.
She was a factory worker.
She married a man that was 100% Portuguese.
She eloped with him.
She was married for 73 years. (Amazing)
She has 3 beautiful children.
She has 10 beautiful grandchildren.
She has 25 beautiful great-grandchildren.
She has 2 beautiful great-great-grandchildren.
She lived a long life.
She was almost 101 years old.

She died at home with her eldest daughter and two of her gorgeous granddaughters at her side. She went to finally be with her husband that she was away from for over 8 years.

There are many things I am sure I don’t know about my Noni. I wish I had asked her more questions.

She was adorable. Everyone loved her. She could be very blunt at times, I attribute that to her being 100% Italian. There were times that she just kept quiet and other times she made her feelings clearly known. She told it like it was. Between she and my Gramps, they produced three pretty strong willed and intelligent children. Those children created ten very strong willed and intelligent grandchildren. The legacy moves forward and all ten grandchildren are grown up, each successful in their own unique ways. Most have their own families and children. All of those great grandchildren, with the exception of a few, are growing up together. Just as my cousins and I did.

This is most of us. Missing only me.

We all played at Noni and Gramps’s house. We slept over all the time, in fact, I don’t remember a time when Noni or Gramps ever said we couldn’t sleep over. One or two of us would be there playing and someone would get the bright idea, “Hey let’s see if we can sleep at Noni’s tonight.” She would always say yes. We climbed trees and played games. We spent endless hours playing hide and seek. We used to play house in the basement. They owned an old house and the basement was really creepy. There was one area that was separated from the rest of the basement and it was all dirt. Gramps never wanted us to play there. It was a fairly large, dim area. Noni once told me that when they bought the house it was all filled in with dirt, rock and construction debris and that Gramps had dug it all out. When some of us were bad, (I wont mention who *cough*) she would say, “The wolf is down there and he’s gonna hear you being bad. You better behave!” Now, today…I would never say this to my kids, but back then that’s what they did: scared the crap out of you to get you to behave. I laugh now, but I was scared to death, we all were, of that area in the basement. I still won’t go back there.

I was very thin as a child. I was a dancer. I ate constantly and probably burned more calories than I could ever consume. She used to tease me and say I had a tapeworm. Do you know it wasn’t until I was in my late 20’s that I actually found out there really was such a thing as a tapeworm?

When I would sleep over by myself, I would get hungry late in the evening. (Big surprise, this still happens to me.) She would always take me into the kitchen and let me have a snack. Sometimes she would join me and eat something too. I remember one particular time, I was maybe 10, she was saying, “When I woke up today I sure didn’t think I would be up at 11 pm having a snack.” We giggled with each other.

I slept at her house a lot after age 11. My father was a long haul truck driver and my mother was a nurse who worked nights. My brother and sister are much older than I am and were no longer living at home. Rather than stay at home alone I would stay with Noni and Gramps. I would cry sometimes at bedtime because I missed my mother and Noni would come in and sit with me and comfort me.

As I grew into my teenage years and was driving, I used to stop by after school or for lunch. The kitchen always smelled amazing. No matter what she cooked, it was delicious. When I had my first child at a very early age, and out of wedlock, she and my Gramps used to watch him for me so I could go to college classes. I remember when I got pregnant. I was so afraid to tell them, afraid of them being disappointed in me. I remember I wrote it in a letter and had Noni read it in front of me. I’ll never, to this day, forget the look on her face. She was shocked, no doubt about that, but she didn’t judge me or look at me differently. She is the one that told Gramps. He looked at me for a moment, silently, and then asked if the father was who it was and I replied with a simple “Yes.” That was it. No judgment or condemnation from either of them. If they felt it, they never let it show.

My son was the third great-grandchild. He got to play at his Great Noni and Gramps house just like I did. He climbed trees and explored the back yard and got all the same love and care from them that I’d received. He was particularly close to Gramps but he had his tie to Noni, too. They loved him, and he was blessed to have that.

As I got older and started getting tattoos, they never judged that, either. In 2003 my husband tattooed a portrait of my grandparents on my upper back. My Gramps had already passed. He never got to see it. My mother, who hated tattoos, is very proud of this one. I went to visit my family a few weeks after getting the tattoo done and when I walked into my Noni’s house, I knelt down in front of her to show her. She just quietly stared at it for a long while. My mother was there and said “That’s you and Daddy. Isn’t it amazing?” My Noni, quick as fire, replied, “I know who it is!” I laughed, we all did. I think she was just shocked that you could actually make a tattoo look like a photograph. She seemed in awe of it.

The last time I saw her was this past August. Over the last year, her mind started to get a little senile. (Not unusual, considering the woman was 100.) When I walked in, she didn’t recognize me. It wasn’t because of her mind, though. Truly, I believe it was because I look a bit different now than I did the last time she saw me two years ago. My hair is different- it’s bright red- and my face seems to have changed a bit too. I asked her, “Do you know who I am?” She looked at me a few moments and then I said who I was. Recognition dawned, then. “Ohhh, M,” she said. “You look so beautiful.” Wow! She has always given all of us compliments, but this was different. Her eyes were so big. It made me tear up. I thanked her, kissed her, and hugged her.

We chatted a bit about my husband and my two little ones. Then we talked about my oldest and how he is nineteen now. That shocked her, too. We haven’t lived there in over ten years, and although she saw him two years ago, it was hard for her to imagine him being nineteen. In between chatting she would stop and say, “Wow you really look swell honey, you really do.” It was strange and wonderful at the same time. The next day I went to see her again and she recognized me immediately. We talked about all the same things, though. It was cute, a repeat of our conversation the prior day. I told her I loved her more times than I can remember, on both days. I kissed her cheeks and stayed kneeling on the floor in front of her, holding her hands the entire time.

I knew when I said goodbye to her that day it would be the last time I would see her.

She was a diamond in the rough. She was a rare breed.

A truly beautiful Rose…

The legacy you leave behind honors you and Gramps, both.

I love you Noni.