She wrote her opinion of what she believes a true friend is.
I decided to write what I feel a true friend should do and would never do.
We asked another writer who happens to be one of my good friends to play “Devil’s Advocate.” Why? Well, because that’s what he does best…forever the cynic, this friend of mine. He will shoot holes in every part of what we’ve written.
…But let me add after reading his contribution I was quite surprised. Rather than shooting holes, he actually filled in some gaps I think. =)
Please comment and let us know what you think? What’s your opinion on “Friendship”? What kind of friend are you? What kind of friends do you surround yourself with? Whatever you choose is fine really…Just comment! We like comments…=)
The following written By Flygirlie314
The following written By Flygirlie314
My Definition of Friendship: The bond between individuals where honesty, loyalty, devotion and acceptance are considered priorities.
In other words, you find qualities in another that you can relate to or embrace; aspects that might compliment one another, similarities that you might share.
What should friendship entail?
What do I expect from a friend?
A friend is someone who I can bare my heart and soul to, regardless of negativity or repercussions. Someone I can count on to tell me the truth about myself or situation no matter how ugly it may be. A friend is forgiving and trustworthy. A friend is someone who would accept you for everything you are, good and bad.
A friend is one who, no matter how much time passes without contact, you can pick up right where you left off. No second guesses, no insecurities.
Friendship passes the test of time.
A friend is one who answers the phone when the time is inconvenient. A friend comes through for you.
I think there should be no ifs, ands or buts in friendship. No holds barred.
Now, a friend doesn’t necessarily need to approve of your choices or decisions, a friend needs to understand why you make them and love you in spite of them.
The following written by Me.. Wookiesgirl
My Definition of Friendship: A true friend stabs you in the front… Never in the back!
I’m going to tell you all about what I feel is NOT friendship.
Many times in my life I have been hurt by people, aka “friends”… Usually, because I thought they were my friends and they truly weren’t, or I thought them to be more of a friend then they really were.
Let me explain just a little… I feel that I may view/judge my friendships based on how I treat the person I am friends with. I hope for the same treatment or loyalty that I give in return.
Now I know what you’re thinking…how conditional right? Well no…not at all. I don’t give to my friends because I expect something in return… I give because I want to give… I can’t help myself. I’m a romantic where love and friendship are concerned. I automatically think that if I give you love, care and my loyalty, you will and should return it.
The problem is I don’t always get that love, care and loyalty in return.
I am a very loyal friend. I am a giving friend.
I have a mothering heart and if you need mothering, I can be that for you.
I will help you always when you need it and yes sometimes, as I mentioned before in a previous blog, I will let you fall on your ass when you need it.
I will tell you the truth when you refuse to see it or even hear it.
I do realize I am NOT perfect. I am a pain in the ass and I’m not always the best friend that I can be. I am quite sure I have hurt people. I try to clean that up and there is always more work and more amends to make… I am human and I do try to remember that my “friends” are human too.
In return for my love, care and loyalty I think you should give me the same… but this is not always the case with people…Most people fall short of my "friend" expectations.
Expectations get me in trouble. I end up getting my feelings hurt.
When you do something or don’t do something according to my expectations, no matter how rational or realistic those expectations may be… I know that it truly is my problem.
…But I digress… back to what I think a true friend is or isn’t:
A true friend will not stab you in the back by consistently telling you one thing to your face and then acting differently while you watch… then denying the behavior…UGH this makes me crazy… LOL
A true friend will tell you the truth, even if they think it will hurt.
A true friend will NOT LIE to you.
A true friend will not go behind your back to others and seek information about you or stir trouble, whether or not there is trouble to be found.
A true friend will defend you even if they think you’re wrong. They can rip into you later in private but in public they will stand by you.
A true friend won’t pick your man over you.
A true friend won’t take your man.
A true friend remains a friend… no matter what… No matter if they think you’re making bad choices or taking wrong actions, or if they don’t agree with your point of view.
A true friend stays true.
The following written by CorbSilverthorn
The definitions given above are idealistic. It would be wonderful if everyone were able to be a good friend like that.
I don’t believe every individual has the capacity to be a good friend, especially in today’s society. The distractions make us absentee friends and the day to day grind of work and school and life in general, makes it too easy to not stay in touch. We do not seek each other “just because”. We seek each other when we need something. And I’m not talking about money or other material things (although yes, that too), I’m talking about emotional needs. We seek each other out when we need to unload our burdens. And yes, of course that’s part of friendship, but sometimes that’s the pattern we fall into. It’s no longer a give and take… it’s just a take.
When we expect a certain kind of behavior from a person we have befriended, we are automatically setting them up for failure, and we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. The moment we expect the same treatment or loyalty in return, that we give that person, we change the dynamics of friendship.
Friendship should be given with absolutely no expectations. It’s like lending money to a relative or friend; you should never expect it back.
We can never give ourselves completely to the person or people we call friends. We are never completely open. We all have that small deposit of thoughts that are locked away from everyone. Somewhere along the line every person becomes territorial, and somewhere along that winding road of friendship, that territory gets stomped on.
With all of that said, we have to realize men and women think and act differently when it comes to friendship. Although, I believe, women make better friends than men, women are also more uptight about maintaining friendships than men. Women are natural friends. Men, well, we really don’t think about it. We, for the most part, don’t feel a need to share what’s in our head, unless it’s something really stupid, funny, or something that will get us into trouble. We don’t talk about our emotions and we don’t hug each other… unless we’re saying hello and then it’s not even a real hug.
I know, I know, you are currently shaking your head and saying “not true, men hug!” that’s fine. Let’s move along now….
My point, yes, finally I’ve reached it… I think…
Friendship is an ever evolving creature. Why? Because we are ever evolving creatures and our circumstances are ever evolving. Sometimes the friendships last, sometimes they drift apart, sometimes they come back, and sometimes they don’t. We should be there for our friends, yes, so true. But we should also seek our friends when times are good and we just want to shoot the breeze. If your friend only seeks you when he or she needs to feed off of your energy, then that isn’t a true friend. If our own well is empty, we’ve got nothing to offer another person.
Kahlil Gibran said it best:
And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
So, just relax and remember that not everyone is cut out to be a friend. Not everyone will be the friend that you think you are.