This is the place I'll come and share random thoughts, comments and some basic BS I feel is worth sharing. You, however, may not feel like it’s worth reading. I make no promises that any of it will make sense, or will even make you laugh… Although, I will certainly try.
I hope you enjoy my musings and my insanity!

P.S. Don’t forget… Tip your waitress on your way out the door!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Queen Bitch!

Hello, my Lovelies.

I know it’s been a little while since I’ve posted anything. I think it’s finally time don’t you?

Today I want to talk to you about me. (There’s a surprise, huh?)

I’ve labeled myself a Bitch. Honestly, others have labeled me that, as well. At one time it was a joke on Twitter.

I love to be right and I usually am, *grin* not really- so, I started calling myself the “Queen of Rightdom in the Land of Who Knows Where.”

Over the years, I’ve been called a Bitch, many times. Here are some examples: Bitch, cold hearted Bitch, narcissistic Bitch, selfish Bitch, sarcastic Bitch, ungrateful Bitch…the list goes on and on.

Because of all of that, I’ve just decided to take my throne and be your Queen Bitch.

I’ve looked up some definitions of the word “bitch.” It was interesting what I found. Here are my favorites: says: –noun - Slang . a.) A malicious, unpleasant, selfish person, esp. a woman. b.) a lewd woman.

The online slang dictionary says: a servant, subordinate, or inferior competitor. Often used in the possessive (I thought this one was interesting, but we’ll save for later)

Finally here is the wiki page for Bitch. I’ll let you read that one yourself.

Why am I a Bitch? I am a Bitch because I don’t choose to put up with any shit. It’s a rare thing if I ever do. I’ve had some experiences lately where I tolerated some shit and was quite beside myself over it. But that’s another story for another blog in another time… maybe in the Kingdom of Who Knows Where… who knows?

I don’t really give a shit if you like me or not and I don’t really care what you think about me. It’s none of my business. When I am hurt, I retaliate. I can be quite vindictive, and although I don’t think that behavior is appropriate, it happens. I can also be very passive aggressive when I am hurt or angry. I’m also very selfish and I am not afraid to admit that, either. I am completely vain and I care about how I look. I had my first kid when I was 19 and he ruined my body. You can be damn sure that last year when I got a really nice bonus check from work I had some “mommy repair surgery.” I’m proud of my body, my breasts, and how I look and I am not afraid to show that off. I am a total attention whore. I guess that falls in line with the definition and I don’t disagree. I can be and have been all of those things.

But, did you know there are different levels of Bitch? In fact there are some Bitches that I would never keep company with. I may be vindictive, selfish and passive aggressive like I mentioned but there are lines that are very important to observe and keep track of.
For example, I would never malign someone publicly or try and discredit them. I may complain to my friends privately but I won’t publicly talk shit about you or anyone else. No matter how right I think I am or how wrong I think you are, that sort of thing will always reflect badly on me. It’s childish and stupid. I would never stick my nose in the business of others where their families are concerned. This kind of underhanded action only does harm. Should I remind you of a little phrase, “mind your own business?” I’ve seen these things countless times on Twitter, unfortunately. May I ask why? Is your life so boring that all you can do is concern yourself with the behavior of someone else? Good lord, people, just live and let live.

For me, I’ve got enough on my own plate to concern myself with rather then focusing on what someone else is doing or not doing. Because of that, I’ll cast my stones in my own back yard and save my vindictive, passive-aggressive behavior for one on one.

Here is something else you should know about me.

In regards to the narcissistic or self absorbed Bitch labels I’ve been given… If you saw me in the morning or anytime with no makeup you would never say “WOW, you are gorgeous.” Because, I am not. I KNOW that I am not beautiful or gorgeous in that “naturally” pretty sort of way. My husband thinks I am and says so, but that doesn’t really count. It’s like a requirement or something when married.

I’m really quite average in the looks department. I have to work for it, work at it, or whatever you want to call it. Like many people, I was teased in grade school and high school. I was too skinny and a late bloomer. The pictures you all see me post on Twitter or my blogs are carefully chosen. The makeup has to be complete, the hair done. The bags under my eyes can’t be too obvious or you will NEVER SEE the pictures. You may tell me based on looking at my pictures that you think I am pretty or you think I am beautiful, even, and yeah that’s great… thanks for that. But my face or my body is not what makes me pretty or beautiful. It’s my personality.

Yup, you guessed it! My Queen Bitch personality.

I’ve known, and do know many, many beautiful women. Many you see first thing in the morning and they are just naturally pretty, or they just came from the gym, hair is a mess and they still look good, gorgeous even, but when they start talking? Oh hell…forget it.
It takes more than a pretty face or a nice rack to be real. It takes more than a giggle and a flip of the hair to hold my interest.

I know many women who I believe are gorgeous. Maybe you wouldn’t agree and maybe you would. They are aesthetically pretty or average, yes, but that’s not all there is. They have an edge, an attitude that makes them come alive before your eyes. They are usually Bitches, too. These women are my favorite to hang and be real with. I’m happy to call them my friends.

When you are on the average side of pretty, and even if you have a nice body, then you still have to work at it. You have to learn to rely on your assets and that boils down to personality. This applies to men too.

People who have met me in person will tell you I am no different then when they only knew me on the web. Those same people will tell you that I am sweet, that I have a big heart, and that I care about people.

I can say, more or less, that yes, all of that is true. I’m loving. I’m caring. I genuinely will be there for you if you ever need someone to talk to or to lean on. I am also very loyal, to a fault. But I am a bitch too, a ruthless one at times.

Here are some of my favorite Bitches that I am proud to call friends. I love these women. They are REAL! They are gorgeous in my eyes, and it’s their personalities that make that so.

Welcome to my Bitch list, ladies!

This gem goes at the top of this list. This woman is so smart and funny. Let’s not even get into how talented she is, and completely gorgeous, inside and out. I talk to her every day, and recently spent the weekend in her home. She understands me like no other. Much love and respect to you, Paula. My favorite Bitch!

@CarrieClevenger OMG this woman has been a friend to me pretty much since I hit the stream of Twitter. She is grumpy, snarky, cynical, intelligent and TOTALLY AWESOME!! I love ever single part of her. She is one of the few people that encouraged me to write. I think she is very beautiful. I’ve no doubt she’ll be a friend for life. It was amazing to be able to spend time with her in person this past summer. She’s been recently published, too. So congrats, my friend, you’ve totally earned it! You can find the books here.

@fanyberg What a doll! Complete sweetheart. She is kind and loving, soft and so talented. She’s “Real,” and that makes her beautiful to me. We’ve met in person the end of July, too. She’s learned recently how to let her inner Bitch out! So proud of you darlin’. Love you.

@julianna12369 This woman is amazing. We’ve talked on twitter for a while, now, and we have some things in common. Just last night, out of the blue, we started talking in DM, and that led to chatting in yahoo. HELL, we have a LOT in common, and because of that she officially made my beautiful Bitch list. Love you girl, and I look forward to meeting in person and racing side by side down the freeway in our matching Beemers very soon!

@mistalicious Oh where to start with this woman? So sweet, completely adorable! Strong, and full of personality and wit! She had a mutual friend come to me and ask me to follow her back. I thought that was AWESOME! One of my Bitches, for sure, and we’ve met in person. Love you, my sweetie!

@shimmer418 Another amazing, beautiful woman. She’s one of the #boobiewednesday founders. We’ve started talking on the phone recently and I’ve been helping her out on the side with that cause. It takes a strong talented smart Bitch to embark on that campaign. Talk about the definition of “lewd” listed above; what’s more lewd then flaunting your bare chest and or cleavage every week or day even on the web right? Well let me tell you. It’s not lewd at all! It’s a way to bring attention to a very worthy cause. This woman has a heart of gold! Go visit her site:

@CtKscribe I don’t even know where to begin with this woman. She is simply AMAZING. She is loud and proud and so outspoken she’s become one of my idols. She is an awesome writer and funny as hell. Yes, she is gorgeous, too, but like the other women it’s her personality that makes her gorgeous to me. She is one awesome Bitch!

@redheadwriting I’ve met this woman in person, as well. We had lunch together. We connected. Why? You guessed it, she’s a Bitch. Just like me. Again, she is gorgeous, talented, funny and sarcastic. So strong in her heart and soul! She’s an amazing writer and she is also one of my idols. I would stand by her side anytime.

There are so many other women I could tell you about that make my Bitch list. If I listed them all, this blog would go on forever.

So what is my point? I guess it’s to say that I am a Bitch, and I am beyond okay with it.

I believe that the Bitch side of my personality is awesome, and there are those that absolutely LOVE that side of me. I embrace it. There are many things that make up being a Bitch. Some are not appealing to people and some are. I personally would rather be friends with a Bitch then someone who is cotton candy sweet with no depth.
If you’re a Bitch like me then you should embrace it!

Loving, caring, intelligent, funny, mean, nasty, sarcastic, and yes, sometimes lewd.

All of that works for me.

Much love to you all, and mostly, MUCH love to my Bitches!

Your Queen Bitch,

P.S. Here is a video I made today of my brother explaining one of the reasons he thinks I’m a bitch, which I think is hilarious.

P.S.S I've added this awesome site I found online Check it out!


Julianna said...

I am somebody! And I care because I am such a bitch! Loves to you for reminding us all that we are what we are. Just live it ladies. If we were men with this attitude we'd be presidents and empire builders. As women we are bitches. Fine. I'll take it!
Vroom vroom!

Anonymous said...

You are one of the most wonderful bitches I know! I hope you know how much I adore you too! Thank you for helping me get a little of my inner bitch out and giving me some rules to live by and lessons on being more selective about certain things! :)
<3 M

Carrie said...

Thanks for the props! You have to be a bitch to survive in mans' land.

hayley mckinney said...

Thank you for this! This is like holy-cow-get-outta-my-head amazing! I think you are beyond beautiful. In fact, I was reading your blog about having matty and you featured a pic of youself with your natural brown hair-full lips and no makeup, holding a newborn matty, and I thought to myself that you looked gorgeous. I think ur bitchy facade is your cunning way to weed out the rotten tomatoes that happen to cross your path..because honestly..I have only seen your eyes filled with love...

The Banished Princess said...

Girl first of all you need to stop with the "I'm just average looking" shit....and I can say this cause I'm a bitch too, and I speak my mind. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What is average to you may be drop dead gorgeous to someone else. So stop with that shit, don't do that to yourself. I know as women we all struggle with it, I do, I am in dire need of "mommy repairs" that I will never be able to have fixed, BUT I try my best not to get hung up on it or let it make me feel inferior to anyone else. I am in agreement with Haley and I think many of us "Bitches" do it, being a bitch is our protective instinct against those who might intentionally or even unintentionally harm us...I am in a position right now where I am THE #1 subject of gossip here in Mayberry USA, and as far as I'm concerned everyone can SUCK IT! Nobody ever tried on my shoes for size before they slapped a label on me and they can fuck off! Now hold that pretty head up and be proud of who you are, with or without the mask of cosmetics and a curling iron! That's an order, from one bitch to another! :-)~

Anonymous said...

We are, all of us, beautiful bitches.

I love you, QB!

Jamie's Foggy Musings said...

Wonderful post. I agree with you about not "calling people out" on public time lines. I've been called out specifically on a few occasions in the past month, so I choose not to engage and move on. And if just being a strong, competitive, motivated, outspoken, opinionated woman makes one a bitch, then I'm in that category. But I do not and will not tolerate being berated by someone who doesn't even know me, and who I've never even had a dialogue with, be they friends of friends or not. So put me in the bitch category, but if you know me, you'd say I'm a bitch with a heart of gold. And I'd say the same for Wookiesgirl!

Anonymous said...

Interesting take of what is considered an inherently negative phrase to empower. Kind of like the 'n' word in the films of Quentin Tarantino.



Anonymous said...

Love your attitude and your outlook on life and other shit in general. Wear your bitch crown proudly!

I also like the name of your blog :-)

Brooklyn Ann said...

Awesome post by an awesome bitch! You're wonderful.

Lidia-Anain said...

Kelly Cutrone who is one of my heroes embraces the word bitch. Women who are bright, sure of themselves and expect others to always treat them with respect are often called bitches, cunts and all sorts of names. A man just called me a "cold piece" today via text because he could not find a retort to the debate we were having. I laughed and embraced that. Yes, I am cold sometimes but so are many men and that doesn't make them assholes or pricks...not as often as the same behavior makes us bitches.

Kudos to you for another great post!

J.C. Montgomery said...

Way to own it!

Anonymous said...

You know I've been told over the years that I'm too nice and I need to be more of a bitch. Do you have a tutorial or something? ; )

Snarky I got down cold. : D

Jen said...

I also have been told I'm too nice but when you make me mad I can be the biggest bitch. can I be on your list? the nice is a front. ;)

and girl you rock that Queen bitch role! own it! I just would like to be one of your bitches. ;)

Wookies Girl said...

Jen!! You totally are on my Bitch list honey.. But you need to get your ass on Twitter! I can officially add you there. *hugs* Love ya chica!

Rachel Blackbirdsong said...

Love this and love the different levels of bitch you mention. Great tribute piece to those who aren't backstabbers and who don't delight in putting others down.

CtKscribe said...

Happy Reign, O'Queen!
A lovely surprise to be a part of your posse (oops I almost spelled posse with a 'U' and a 'Y' -thank God for spell checker)
The Queen Lives, Long Live The Queen.

Hmmm, I thought people called me a bitch because I actually am one. I'm a Type-A, control freakin'feng shui addict who desires things to rock or else I fire some mutha fuckas. But NOW, after reading your post, I realize that's NOT the reason they shout me out as a bitch.

NO, I'm not a "bitch" bitch as they say!
They are skanky little jealous male/female ho-bags with rug burn and worms crawling outta their eyeballs! I'm just fine. They are the sucky ones! I'm free at last!

Love it sweetheart. Bitches Unite!I'm glad to be a part of your posse.
Dammit, I almost spelled posse with a U and a Y, again. ;-) *smooch*

@Raine_ok said...

Loved this!! way to go mate!!

SY said...

if these are your reasons for a being a bitch, I would like to be a bitch too

Anonymous said...

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorn." To know what a bitch is you have to be a bitch in someway, or just somebody’s "bitch!" I am a "Happy Bitch." Being a bitch to me is a powerful tool. We use it to protect our friends and family, especially ourselves. When attacked or accused of being a bitch I am pleased with the compliment. Usually I have done nothing deliberately to these individuals and find it rather empowering that I can get under their skin. Most people are not aware I’m a bitch.... This allows me to be even more of a bitch. I am passive aggressive and wield bitchiness like Excalibur. This tool should not be wasted on the meager peeps that ridicule and belittle others. They are insects we gently step on or ignore and have no significance to us. Watching them squirm is only slightly entertaining. Understanding that when they stop resisting the "Bitch" inside them they would be truly happy and no longer have to call bitch or point fingers or be weak. It’s the cure for their insecurity, alas most will never embrace the fear, the power, the success and the love being the proper bitch brings.. xo

Hail Queen Bitch and to all that embrace the power!

Allison Zapata said...


So fucking true.

I'm the same way with my pics :) only put the good ones!


YAY bitch list!

flying eagle woman said...


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